Sleeping Awake
by Sinful Existence
Summary: She wasn't sure why she allowed the two of them to have these late night talks, but they gave her a sense of venting she could never get with any of her friends. Her faceless friend was a good listener, direct about things that needed to be heard (even when they weren't wanted), and... possibly dangerous to her well-being. Sakura-centric. Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

This was an idea that wandered into my head a while ago but I have been wrapped up in other stuff and haven't gotten around to writing it. Part of it is me stalling while I try to remember fully what my plans for Melancholic Melody were. So yes, I plan on working on that story again, but at the moment, this is my little procrastination.

Purposely not being straight-forward with the pairing. Sorry if this causes issues for the super gung-ho people who become totally and irrationally distraught if a story isn't the "only pairing I will read". I won't be childish about reviews like in Melancholic Melody, but I most likely won't read any of my reviews until I get close to completion of the story, just in case. XP

Timeline is tricky on this one. It's not current (manga chapter 631 as of this post), but it's not too far back, either. I'd need to re-read some of the older shippuden chapters to give you a proper timeline but hopefully there's enough exposition to wing it.

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What is stress? What does it look like? What does it feel like?

Sakura had thought she understood well what stress was. It wasn't until the last few years of her life that she really got a good feeling for it.

Stress was being abandoned by someone you thought was a beloved comrade. Someone you held close to your heart. Stress was hearing he had become a missing-nin, working under Orochimaru. It was working under that crazy but endearing Slug Princess of a Hokage, feeling like she might be her death.

Stress was thinking that three years of training would prepare you, only to find you're as helpless as ever in bringing him back. It was learning what was sealed inside one of her best friends and how ignorant and unhelpful she was toward him all this time. Knowing that the Akatsuki wanted Naruto, had Sasuke, and then watching as they obliterated Konohagakure.

It was watching Sasuke so drunk with power that he would kill his own new teammates in front of his old ones. Seeing the look of betrayal on Karin's face, that same betrayal she'd been harboring for years now.

It was spending another year after that helping to clean up. Helping to heal others. It was fourteen hour shifts and drowning herself in missions to numb the pain. It was forcing herself to move on even as her mind and heart lingered on thoughts of her lost friend.

Stress was the dark circles under her eyes, marked darker by each minute of sleep she missed, reflecting on the whispers and hate about the murderous Uchiha Sasuke. It was the way her hair hung limp from neglect, less inclined to be immaculate in her appearance while her mind swam with the losses they had endured to this point and how helpless she was in changing those events. It was the ribs that were slightly visible through her skin from her lack of eating, finding it hard to stomach anything when she thought of all the other shinobi who had managed to do something for their village or their loved ones. Like Hinata, who had boldly thrown herself in front of Naruto, declaring her love in front of Pain and swearing to protect Naruto from him.

Stress was the state of her apartment, which was messy, dark, and lonely. It was the empty eyes that would stare out of her window toward the Uchiha sector of the village each night before sleep, watching under the moon at the stillness, deeply wishing to see movement, any sign that Sasuke had come to his senses. Hearing that he'd killed Itachi but he still didn't come home.

But it was also anger. Oh, it was blazing anger. Despite feeling weakened in some ways compared to her comrades, she knew she was strong. She knew she was brave. It was just hard to be that way in front of their old teammate and that infuriated her.

She felt anger at so many things lately, but she kept it to herself. Her own guilt prevented her from proper care of herself outside of regular training. Her anger kept her from being social, slowly closing herself off from people. No one understood. No one could understand the complicated feelings she held. Not even Naruto. It was close, but he couldn't fully grasp what it was like for her, the woman abandoned by him. Not just from the village. Naruto could understand that. It was more that she knew by now that Sasuke could hold no love for her. She'd even offered to leave the village with him, to be beside him, and he'd rejected her. He'd thanked her, sure, but never once did he consider her offer. She wasn't nearly important enough.

She shook the thoughts from her head, laying down on her bed with a hand placed against her forehead and looking out the window. She barely remembered to set her alarm, rubbing her forehead with some chakra thrumming in her fingertips to numb the headache. Sighing she fell into a fitful sleep.

Her sleep didn't last long though. Being a light sleeper was a large part of being a shinobi and she felt a chakra signature moving through the village. She would have looked into it more if she weren't still half-asleep, though a distant part of her brain at least tracked that chakra, as it was stronger than a lot of the ordinary chakras around her. To the frustration of her subconscious though, the chakra disappeared entirely before she could get a bead on it. She assumed that it had been dealt with and once again drifted into darkness. She'd have to be up in a few hours for another shift anyway.

Granted, it was a shift she volunteered for, but still.

She didn't last long again before gasping and sitting up abruptly. Her eyes were lined with tears, sweat lightly coating her body. Her heart hammered in her chest before she let out a single sob of frustration and wiped her eyes. In frustration, she found herself growling under her breath, "Ugh.. again.."

"Again? I suppose you find yourself awoken this way often?"

Her body tensed at the quiet but deep voice coming from just outside her window. Her immediate reaction was to reach for a kunai, cursing that the chakra she'd lost track of earlier was now right outside her window. She caught a flash of light off a weapon from the person and thought better to lunge out her window at him.

"I wouldn't if I were you."

The voice bothered her deeply. She knew it and yet she didn't. It was whispered, barely letting her hear the voice itself and making recognition hard. The chakra possessed no killing intent toward her though and she let the tip of her kunai lower very slightly, "Who are you?"

The figure, nothing more than a silhouette just outside her field of vision, gave a short chuckle. There was no verbal response though and she finally just assumed she would not be getting an answer. After a short moment, she heard his voice again, "You were calling out for someone in your sleep."

She tensed, having a feeling from how these nightmares went that she knew exactly whose name she had been calling, "It's really none of your business."

The voice sounded polite and almost apologetic, "I meant no offense, of course. I simply wondered why you would call for a known serial killer."

"Once again, that's my business," she snapped irritably, wondering if this was Kiba or someone else playing a practical joke on her. At any rate, it wasn't funny, especially at this time of night. She really hoped people weren't going to make a habit of coming and interrupting her in the middle of sleep about her life choices, "Regardless of what he's doing now, we just want him to come home. At least I do. And Naruto. He can answer for his crimes and then we can try to patch things up."

There was a silence before the voice murmured bluntly, "That's rather naive."

She glared angrily at her window, starting to lean over a bit to try to get a better angle out of the side of her window, but the figure had their back to the exterior wall of her apartment, making it difficult in the lack of light to make him out, "I'm aware of what it is! I didn't say it was rational! It is what it is."

The figure felt an eyebrow raise up in surprise, though of course Sakura wouldn't see this, "Once again, I meant no offense. It was merely my curiosity."

She gripped her kunai tightly again, narrowing her eyes, "Yes, well, you know what they say about curiosity..."

The voice sounded calm and slightly amused, "I rather like my nine lives, or maybe it's eight at the rate I'm going. Either way, I will take my leave of you then."

She felt the chakra disappear again, staying tense for many long moments before she let her stance relax, satisfied that they were gone. She could feel Genma and a few other shinobi making rounds near her location anyway.

She laid back down with a feeling of extreme annoyance. She wasn't sure what that was all about, but the last thing she needed was someone making a habit of having late-night chats with her. Sighing and seeing she only had about two hours left before work she dragged herself out of bed reluctantly and readied herself, soon heading out the door.

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Sakura returned to the village around seven in the evening, feeling sweaty and exhausted, just wanting to give her report and head back home. She usually couldn't sleep but she hoped it would hit her tonight.

That morning had been crazy. Two different teams sent out on what should have been routine missions, only to get intercepted by some group that called themselves Twilight. Obviously a reference at the meaning of Akatsuki, Dawn. Though at first it looked like just another Akatsuki copy group, it was obvious really quick that it was just a bunch of shinobi that were either missing-nin or had been too much of failures to be decent shinobi and had to resort to being bandits. All they seemed to do was kill as they please and steal. It was disgusting to her, really. So her morning had been spent healing the survivors of that particular encounter, then the rest of the day had been spent dispatched with Kiba, Neji, and Kakashi to deal with whatever members of Twilight they could find. Some of them were rather skilled, she'd give them that, but a good deal of them were weak cowards once the strong ones were dealt with and managed to run away.

She followed the team to Tsunade, sort of zoned out as Kakashi explained the situation to her. Her thoughts drifted to the other night. She wondered what the deal was with the intruder outside her house. Her eyes lazily drifted to Kiba and Neji. Kiba might play such a practical joke on her, but she couldn't see Neji doing anything of the sort. As for Kakashi, well... she figured she'd have seen his face stuck in a book in silhouette easily enough. The thought almost made her chuckle.

"Sakura?"

Sakura snapped out of her thoughts to see the team and Tsunade staring at her, making her cheeks light up red, "Umm, yes, Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade shook her head, "I was asking if you'd given any thoughts to the jounin exams. They'll be coming up soon enough and you've had several recommendations."

Sakura would have jumped at the chance, but she cautioned herself to think it over. Yes, it would give her access to higher rank missions. She might even have a better chance of coming across Sasuke in her travels. However, she knew there were risks with taking such missions. The hours for a jounin were also much more demanding, basically being on call at any point, night or day.

She gave a slow nod, "I'll consider it. It would be nice to advance, but I don't think it's a decision to rush."

Tsunade nodded at the wisdom in her statement and put some papers aside from the recent report, "Alright. The jounin exams will be in about a month, so you have plenty of time to think about it. You four are dismissed. Get some rest."

Rest. Right. She certainly hoped.

She walked out of the Hokage's building with the team, the four of them splitting up toward their respective homes. Kiba walked with Sakura for a bit as their homes were in a similar direction for a few blocks. After a moment, Sakura turned her head to look at Kiba, "So, odd question, but what were you doing last night? Around... four, maybe?"

Kiba raised an eyebrow, wondering why Sakura was asking, but shrugged, "Me and Akamaru were sleeping." Akamaru barked and wagged his tail as if to emphasize that statement.

He tipped his head a bit, his eyes still confused, "Why do you ask?"

Sakura laughed nervously and shook her head, "Oh, no reason. I thought I heard someone moving around the village last night, didn't know who was sleeping and who was out training or whatever."

Kiba shrugged, finding it a little odd, but taking her reason with no complaint.

The two split off toward their respective homes, Sakura thinking. It hadn't been Kiba, then. Unless he'd been lying to cover his ass, but his confusion had looked all-too authentic to her.

Her eyes scanned the outside of her apartment, as if expecting to see someone perched outside her window. Of course, no one was there. That was just silly. She went inside and found to her annoyance that she wasn't tired enough for sleep. Unable to think of anything to do, she decided to take a shower.

She stripped down and started the water, not even waiting for it to get hot before she slipped in and under the water. After the last mission they had, the cold water actually felt rather good. She sighed when the water finally turned hot, feeling nice on her aching muscles. Yes, this was definitely what she needed.

She grabbed her bar of soap and started washing, her eyes moving to a few bottles in the corner. Neglected shampoo and conditioner. She couldn't remember the last time she touched them. Lately she'd just been soaping up her hair for the sake of hygiene and that was it. She found it... pointless, to worry about her appearance. It wasn't like anyone cared, or that she cared if anyone cared.

Something felt odd with her that night though and she decided to break into them for the first time in a while.

She eventually came out of the shower, toweling her hair dry and giving it a brushing out. It wasn't a bad feeling, having her hair groomed. She didn't much want to start making a habit of it again, but it was... nice.

She found her stomach growling and padded into her kitchen nook for some food. She wrinkled her nose at most of the food in her refrigerator being past expiration. She really needed to stop eating out so much. It was making her lose track of her own food.

She managed to find a cup ramen Naruto had brought to her recently and sighed in relief, boiling up some water. She poured it in and waited, her eyes traveling to the ceiling.

Naruto.

After the last fiasco with the village being destroyed, he'd gone off to train with Yamato and Sai. Tsunade kept Kakashi and Sakura in the village for different reasons.

She sighed. How much stronger could he possibly get. How was she ever supposed to catch up to him? Granted, he was still technically a genin and herself a chunin, but she wasn't dumb. She knew that didn't matter. He was easily jounin level, he'd just been gone a long time. She wondered if there was ever a case of a shinobi going straight from genin to jounin. It seemed like a waste of time for Naruto to wait for the next chunin exams when the jounin exams were just around the corner.

She sighed and ate her ramen, now done. Maybe she'd do the jounin exams after all. It would help her catch up, at least a little. Though a small part of her brain felt it was a superficial title.

She finished and laid in bed, her eyes moving to look at the moon. It was almost full. Maybe a couple more days and it would be completely full. She let her eyes drift shut, trying to will her body to relax and get some rest.

There was a flicker of movement just outside her window and the very, very soft creak of a foot landing quietly on her windowsill. Instinctively her eyes flew open and a kunai was already gone from her hand, sailing out the window and into a nearby telephone pole.

A deep voice sounded amused, though just as quiet as it was the other night, "You're quite jumpy."

"Well I'm not exactly used to having strange people just park outside my window," she replied dryly. Another kunai was ready between her fingers, watching her window intently.

The voice once again sounded amused, though no less apologetic, "I apologize. I'm not used to announcing myself when hiding outside someone's window."

Despite herself, Sakura couldn't help the small lift at the corner of her mouth, "So this is a habit of yours, then? Stalking outside people's windows?"

She heard a slight chuckle, then the voice, "Not a habit yet. I suppose it's starting to look like one."

Sakura looked at the clock then raised an eyebrow in disbelief, "You must be the bravest peeping tom on the planet, to be doing this at only nine."

"If I don't wish to be seen, I'm not seen," the man didn't sound arrogant, merely like he was speaking an absolute truth. She supposed it was true, or he wouldn't be here a second time. Thought that lead to another thought...

"You know, I really should capture you, or call the guards. Something. I don't think you're supposed to be out there. Unless this is a prank from someone I know. Then maybe I should climb out and kick your ass."

There was no response for a moment except for a few odd noises that she soon recognized as someone trying to suppress light laughter, "You're certainly... direct. Not a lot of people say exactly what they're thinking."

Sakura shrugged at the statement, "Why sugarcoat things in life? It's the same as lying to me. Dishonest. When people are forward about their feelings and intentions, it's easier to build bonds of trust."

The other shinobi nodded a bit at her statement, "I suppose this is true. Though shinobi are masters of deception and hiding, so it hardly fits." Then the voice got a somewhat amused sound to it again, "So then... does that mean you're trying to build a bond of trust with me?"

She huffed, "Hardly. Though I suppose if you were here to kill me, you would have done so instead of just sitting out there." She finally lowered her kunai an inch, watching her window carefully still, "So my question is... why are you here?"

The man was silent for a moment then murmured, "I'd heard about you. From different sources. You affect people almost as much as Uzumaki Naruto does. You seemed intriguing and I was curious as to what kind of person you are."

Sakura was surprised at this statement. She wasn't really anyone particularly remarkable, so why would any word spread about her? Then she felt a bit defensive. This person knew Naruto. Too many people who knew about Naruto also wanted to take him away. At the very least, after seeing Naruto wasn't here last night, he probably wouldn't have returned so soon hoping to find otherwise if Naruto was really his goal. Furthermore, a shinobi would have done their research ahead of time and would know Naruto was gone. Even still, his statement left her uneasy, like there was still something being hidden from her, "Why do I get a feeling that wasn't the entire truth."

The man chuckled a little, "My apologies. Unlike you, I'm afraid I'm too used to deception to tell a pure and entire truth."

She found herself amused somewhat, "Though you're able to be honest about a deception, it seems."

"Touche."

The two chuckled a bit before Sakura thought about it, "What exactly did you mean, anyway? What did you come to learn? You realize that as a shinobi, it would be reckless to just give information about myself to a stranger. That's just asking to have it exploited."

There was a pause before he replied, "I realize that. I'm just curious about your personality, I suppose. Your hopes, your fears."

Her voice came out wry, "Oh, is that all?"

His voice held a small smile, "Pretty steep, I suppose."

"Extremely."

He was silent for another moment, then turned to look at his neighbor on the windowsill, touching the leaves lightly, "I see you like plants."

Sakura let out a small laugh, "We're going to talk about my plants?"

"Is that prying too deeply?"

She sighed a bit, trying not to laugh, "No, I suppose not. Yes, I'm a medic. I used to keep just herbs but I also like keeping flowers around here for some color."

"The flowers are wilting," he mused.

She shrugged, feeling a bit uncomfortable, "Yeah, well... shinobi are busy and all that."

"Yet the herbs are well-kept."

She let a bit of annoyance seep into her tone, "Yes, well, the herbs actually have medicinal properties. The flowers are just decoration. With my schedule, if it comes down to watering what I have time for, obviously I'd prioritize the plants that actually have use."

He gave a sort of "hmm" noise, not really agreeing with her but not willing to turn this into an argument. After all, if one already had some water, they weren't going to water one and not the other. An extra second or two meant nothing. There was obviously another reason she was neglecting the flowers. Some personal reason, maybe?

"Do you see a bit of yourself in those flowers?"

She frowned and looked at her window, "What is that supposed to mean?" She noted her voice sounded a bit more defensive than she wanted.

"Well, I just wonder if your refusal to take care of the flowers hints toward a lack of self-worth. If you are frustrated with yourself and are taking it out on the flowers you cared enough to obtain but not to care for."

Sakura's wrist snapped and the kunai flew from her fingers toward the shadow. The shadow moved before he was hit and disappeared from her view entirely. After a few minutes, it seemed he wasn't coming back.

She laid back in her bed, surprised to find tears of frustration in her eyes, just at the corners. What he said was wrong. She had self-worth. What the hell did he know anyway?

So then why did it feel like he'd struck a nerve? He'd gotten such a sharp response from her. Maybe subconsciously she agreed with him. Her eyes moved to the flowers, a sad look to her eyes. She shook her head after a moment and tried to drift off to sleep. Whoever it was, they didn't know a damn thing about her.

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So there's the beginning. Hope you're interested. Will be interesting to see how long it takes my cover to be blown. Lord knows I can fail pretty catastrophically when it comes to trying to conceal someone's identity.


	2. Chapter 2

So, no more writing stories at 5am, lol. I went back and tweaked a few things in chapter one as well as lengthened it at the end, so there's more substance to read, a bit more than double the word count. If you read the first chapter when I first posted the story, you will want to go back and re-read the chapter before going into this one.

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Ino sighed behind the counter, idly picking at the leaves of a gardenia plant. She had no missions that day, so her mother had seen fit to ask her to watch the flower shop again. It felt like she was little all over again. The next thing she'd know, she'd see Sakura walking through the front door.

She almost did a double take, noting that Sakura indeed had entered, looking a bit self-conscious, something she hadn't seen of the pink-haired girl in a long time.

Ino leaned against the counter, her voice playful, "Here for some flowers, forehead?"

Sakura nearly jumped, looking up to see that Ino was working here today of all days. She stuck out her tongue, "Hey there, Ino-pig."

Ino leaned back and observed her old friend, "Hmm... though honestly it's been a while since you've been by here. You'd been so stuck on work I didn't think you had much time for anything else."

Sakura looked sheepish, shrugging as she moved around from plant-to-plant, "I'm not here for flowers. At least, I wasn't... I don't know." She looked less sheepish and more conflicted now, "I mean, at this time in my life, flowers aren't really going to help me..."

Ino rolled her eyes, "I don't know, you seem pretty tense nowadays. Flowers help to make a home feel colorful and serene. It's exactly the sort of atmosphere you need to come home to."

Sakura shrugged a bit, not really sure if she agreed or not. Who cared anymore if she was comfortable with her home. It was just a bed to sleep in. She wasn't a child anymore, where she wanted a mirror and flowers and little figurines on her dresser. Where she wanted her room to look as beautiful as she felt because it made her feel special. That was a child's game.

She had to admit that her sleeping had gotten bad lately and her mentality even worse. Being in her apartment felt more suffocating than comfortable. She felt confined and she felt alone. It gave her time to think about too much of the bad things of the past years.

She sighed, running a finger down the petal of a rather brilliant-looking hibiscus, "I.. I have work. Maybe I'll come back for some flowers on the way home." She smiled at Ino then left the shop.

Ino sighed. When had Sakura's smile looked so fake and shallow? Regardless, she had a feeling Sakura wouldn't be back. She forced a smile on her face as she heard a customer come in, getting back into the groove of her work.

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Sakura sighed as she got home, not bothering with a shower this time as she stripped out of her outer gear and plopped into bed, her whole body sore. As expected, she hadn't gone by Ino's shop on the way home. She didn't see a need. She closed her eyes and let herself feel like she was sinking into her bed, sighing as her muscled relaxed slightly.

She found herself wanting to drift off, feeling more relaxed than usual. The moon lit up her room so that she didn't have to turn on a light and give herself a headache and the smell in her room made her feel relaxed and... wait, what?

She opened her eyes and looked at her window. Her same pots were there, but the flowers had been replaced. New, fresh ones were sitting in her window, the breeze wafting their smell through her apartment. It wasn't entirely unpleasant but she wondered who did it. She also felt a bit irritated because obviously someone was in or around her apartment without her consent.

"I hope I picked flowers you like. Your friend said you liked a lot of these when you were a child, but I know tastes change."

Sakura jolted at hearing her shadow's voice again, seeing him in his usual spot just to the side, just enough to still be standing on the windowsill. She wanted to be frustrated that he snuck over again and had the nerve to change out her plants. She found herself more curious about how he did it, though, "Ino? You spoke with her? How did you pull that off?"

The voice sounded a bit sheepish, "Ah. Well... I may have used a genjutsu on her so she wouldn't know who she was talking to."

Sakura sighed and laid back in her bed, "I'm really not sure if you're a help or an annoyance in my life right now, but I'm leaning toward annoyance."

"You seemed to be enjoying the flowers until you realized they were there." He seemed amused with the absurdity of his statement.

She blushed and looked away from her window, "I just lost myself. Speaking of getting lost..."

The voice murmured solemnly, "If you wish for me to leave again, I will."

Did she.. hurt his feelings? She inwardly sighed. Great, now she felt bad. Though... she felt bad about, what? Hurting the feelings of a strange, possibly criminal man who seemed to be developing a habit of lurking outside her window at night?

She groaned in frustration, "I don't know. You are the one that pushed yourself on me, after all. I was just trying to live my life."

"I apologize. I didn't mean to interfere, I was merely curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Satisfaction brought him back."

Sakura snorted in a bit of a laugh, "Oh that's a bullshit line the curious people made up to excuse themselves and everyone knows it."

The man seemed to be smiling in his voice, "Still, it amused you."

Sakura shrugged, "Okay, you win that one."

"I win? Does that mean I can have a prize?"

Her voice was wary, "Like what?"

"Just an answer to a question, that's all."

Sakura thought, then sighed, "Fine, fine. But I reserve the right at any time to decide if the question is inappropriate and to not answer it."

The man chuckled then shifted, as if settling himself in for a long story, "Alright. Tell me about your childhood."

Okay, yeah, that was kind of a long story.

Sakura let out an exasperated sigh, "You're kidding, right?" Please be kidding...

"Nope," the voice replied almost cheerfully.

She sighed and watched the window warily, "If I tell you, will you go away and let me sleep?"

"For tonight."

She groaned and threw her covers over her head, but when it seemed like his presence wasn't going anywhere any time soon, she sighed, and uncovered her head, her eyes shifting to the ceiling.

"I was born into the village, much like my parents before me. I wanted to be a really good ninja and even when I was young I read up all sorts of books on jutsu and the rules of being a ninja. I was excited at the prospect.

When I went to the academy though, I got bullied a lot. The kids made fun of me for my big forehead and how timid I was. I made it worse by covering it up, making them realize they had hit just the nerve they wanted. It wasn't until Ino helped me get over my self-consciousness about it by showing off my forehead instead that I started to make friends."

Her voice dropped to be a bit quieter, trying not to lose her composure, "Me and her fell for the same boy, though. Uchiha Sasuke. Granted, a lot of the girls in our class did, but it was different with me and her. It was hard to be friends and rivals and for a long time we became nothing but rivals. Enemies. It was hard to bear at times, because I knew she was also that same person who had helped me blossom into my own so long ago.

The laugh was on her though. I was the one chosen to be in Sasuke's team, along with Naruto. I was.. very childish and set in my ways back then. I wasn't much of a ninja. I had the brains for it, but I was never a match for Naruto and Sasuke. I always lagged behind them, chasing after Sasuke with no regard for being a true kunoichi. It took the chunin exams for me to realize just how much I'd been letting the two of them carry me through every situation. It took them for me to realize that sometimes rules need to be broken. That the rulebook isn't absolute. They taught me to care deeply about your teammates and that a sharp kunai and even sharper wit are more important than stupid, fleeting things like doing your nails and going after boys."

The voice murmured, "Sometimes rules need to be broken, huh..?"

Sakura looked to the window, "Well of course. I care for my village deeply, but I'm not about to follow their rules blindly if it means that someone close to me could get hurt or killed because of it. Kakashi-sensei is the one that taught us that shinobi that abandon their comrades for the sake of rules are worse than trash. Worse trash than the so-called trash that disobey the shinobi rules in the first place."

There was a long silence before the voice spoke softly, "I'm sorry... continue..."

She noticed that the man seemed bothered but sighed and continued on, "During the chunin exam though, Sasuke was marked by Orochimaru. Eventually it led to him being taken from us. I couldn't convince him to stay and Naruto couldn't bring him back. We're not sure where he is anymore. We just know he wants to destroy Konohagakure. I'm not sure what happened when he killed his brother, but he's... he's angry. Very much so."

The man gave her a moment, hearing her distress in her voice, then spoke, "I notice our conversation has shifted from you to Sasuke..."

Sakura shook her head, "I'm sorry... Sasuke is just..."

"He's a large part of your life, I see."

She could only nod, wiping her eyes as she felt moisture gathering in them, "You could definitely say that..."

After a moment, he spoke softly, "So you mentioned the chunin exam. Did you pass?"

She nodded again, "Yeah. Not that time, though. Orochimaru waged war on Konoha with Suna. It made it difficult to continue. We only had one person from our village make it to chunin when all was said and done. Over the years, though, we've taken the exams again and again. Most of my graduating class are chunin or jounin now."

"Which are you?"

She shrugged, "I'm chunin still. The jounin exams are in a month, though. I was told I should try for it."

"Are you going to?"

She sighed, "I.. I don't really know. There are definitely ups and downs to it. In the end, I'm put in a lot of jounin-type missions anyway when huge things come up. Even if I'm not a jounin yet, the Hokage treats me as such. It's just a title, so... I'm not sure."

She heard him stand up slowly, his voice quieter than before, "Well, think about it. It may be just a title, but it's a title that shows that the village recognizes your skill. That it's not just theorized or assumed, but proven."

She nodded a bit, "I'll consider it. I didn't think of it that way."

She heard the barest of smiles in his voice, though she could still feel something about their conversation before had bothered him, "Goodnight, Sakura."

"Goodnight."

She felt his presence leave her before she even finished the word but didn't mind it too much.

It was weird, talking about her past to someone like him. Someone she didn't know. But looking back on all she said, she'd been pretty good at not saying anything that could be used against her. Her teammates were common knowledge and he had interacted with Ino before she even mentioned what close friends they were.

It was true that jounin was just a title for her, but... he was right. She had felt so long like she was lagging behind her teammates. Like she wasn't sure if she'd kept up with them at all. Wouldn't taking the jounin exams confirm that for her?

She curled up, closing her eyes and inhaling the scent of the flowers outside her window.

As she drifted off to sleep, she had to admit that as cheesy as it was, it was kind of sweet of him to get them.

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Feels like I wrote a lot more than I really did, lol. It's a shorter chapter but I'm going to leave it there for now. I'll try to make the next chapter more substantial. Thank you for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry this next chapter has taken so long. I've been busy with some things, like figuring out what to do with my fan fictions. Melancholic Melody has been dropped. Read the latest "chapter" for it for more details on that.

Thank you for the encouraging reviews.

At this point, the story is going to deviate heavily from the main plot. There will be some similarities and the whole thing with Madara and Obito is probably going to come up eventually, but there will be enough differences that I feel I should point that out.

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She offended him.

That's the only thing she could think of. He hadn't been by to talk to her in a week now.

Though at the very least, she had a feeling that he didn't hold it entirely against her. Even though she was still bad at neglecting her flowers, they were still getting watered. There were two separate nights where she'd stayed up the entire night to try to catch him in the act, but he never came. Then she'd come home from missions to find them watered, guessing that he snuck there in broad daylight somehow to get it done.

As annoying as it had been, she almost just wished he'd show his face again. Well... figuratively. Having him sneaking around regardless but not communicating was a bit unnerving.

It wasn't until late on the eight day of his absence that she finally heard from him again.

It had been another rough day of hunting down more of these Twilight creeps. No matter how many they hunted down, more seemed to be cropping up daily. It had also been one of those rare days where she'd decided to take a bit more care of herself. She'd even watered her own flowers.

She sat on her bed after her shower, brushing out her hair and humming a tune that had been on the radio that night when she heard the voice outside her window, sounding amused, "You actually watered them yourself, I see?"

Sakura felt a flutter in her chest and berated herself. Had she actually been hoping to talk to him? It was a weird feeling. Part of her felt she needed to apologize from last time. Maybe it was guilt then.

She shrugged, continuing to brush her hair. She didn't bother to look over her shoulder at the window, knowing he wouldn't show himself anyway, "I guess I did."

"Good day, then?"

She shook her head, letting out a slight laugh, "That's the funny part, it wasn't even a good day. It was actually a rather frustrating day. I just felt watering them was appropriate somehow, that's all."

After a moment she murmured, "So, been busy lately?"

Despite trying to sound like she was unconcerned, she could almost hear a grin in the person's voice, "Were you waiting for me, Sakura?"

Feeling heat pooling up in her face, she sputtered then threw her hairbrush out her window. Judging from the lack of noise afterward, he'd caught the brush before it could hit something. It was tossed onto her bed after a moment, the voice chuckling, "I'm sorry, I truly couldn't help myself."

She huffed but shook her head, heading to the bathroom to put up her brush. She came back and flopped onto her bed, squinting out her window. Seeing that even with her bedroom light on, he was going to be impossible to see, she turned off her light, "Oh, I'm sure you couldn't help it."

He chuckled but said nothing, knowing she'd been trying to see him. As he'd said before though, if he didn't want to be seen, he wasn't seen. It was just the truth.

After a moment, her voice broke through his thoughts, rather soft, "Um, so... I'm sorry. If something I said before insulted you."

There was a long pause before she heard him again, "Oh, you mean about your past? Don't worry about it, it wasn't anything like that." He seemed to be thinking of the best way to put it, "I've.. spent my entire shinobi life playing by the rules. To a fault. Hearing that from you just kind of made me question certain things in my life, that's all. It was hard to hear someone say." She heard him chuckle, "So it wasn't really that you missed me, you just felt bad? Disappointing. Though I wasn't avoiding you. Your guards around the village almost caught me the night after, so I've had to keep my visits as brief as possible so they'd let their guard down again. I couldn't really afford to sit and talk with you."

Sakura almost wanted to slap her palm to her forehead. All the time that she sat there feeling bad, thinking he'd taken offense, and he was just trying to not get caught. Talk about over-thinking things. She looked rather sheepish, "Ah, well.. at least you didn't get caught." She realized what she said and groaned. Now she was happy a possible criminal was avoiding the law.

Her shadow seemed to have a similar thought to hers and chuckled in response to her words.

Though she was quick to pick up on something else, "So... a criminal who plays by the rules, huh? Doesn't that seem like a bit of a conflict of interest?"

She heard a shifting of cloth in what she assumed was a shrug from how his shadow moved, "There's a story to that. Long one."

She tipped her head, unable to help but wonder, "I'm a good listener."

He heard the hope in her voice and chuckled, "Nice try."

"I'm rather curious now."

"You know what they say about curiosity..."

She scoffed, "Oh, I hardly want to hear that from you of all people."

She heard him chuckle and couldn't help but smile.

They lapsed into a silence for a while before Sakura murmured, "So, I put in my papers for the jounin exams."

"Really?" he seemed almost pleased, if his voice was an indication, "What made you decide?"

"Well..." she blushed a bit in the darkness, "It was actually what you said before. It may just be a title to me, but as you said, it's also proof that I'm not the only one that knows my strength. I won't have to wonder about how I measure up to my comrades."

"So you value my opinion then?"

She huffed at his teasing tone and rolled her eyes, "It's more just that your words made sense, even if I tried to blow them off as the words of an idiot."

There was a long silence and she wondered if she'd been offensive. Then the voice muttered, "Idiot...? I don't think anyone's ever called me an idiot.."

The almost child-like wonder in his voice made it hard to resist and she broke out into a fit of laughter. Her shadow joined her with a small chuckle, so at least it seemed like he wasn't mad. She eventually stopped laughing and wiped her eyes, which had watered with her laughter, "I'm sorry, that was just too priceless."

She heard her shadow stiffen then dash off into the night, her forehead creasing with confusion. A moment later, she heard a knock on her door and it made sense. She supposed he'd seen the person coming before she'd felt them. Judging from the rapid knocking, she guessed...

"Naruto," she muttered, leaning in the doorway with an annoyed look on her face, "Are you aware it's three in the mornin-"

"Was someone in here?"

Sakura blinked, then laughed it off, nervously hoping Naruto would let it go, "No, I was just laughing to myself."

Naruto looked skeptical but then shook his head, "Eh, that's not important right now. They found Sasuke. In a small village in the Land of Lightning!"

Sakura's eyes widened, "Is he close?"

"Around the border, from what I heard. The old lady gave us permission to go with a small group and try to intercept him."

Sakura nodded, suddenly uncaring what time it was. She ran into her apartment, throwing on her gear and packing herself up, "I'll be at the bridge in five minutes."

Naruto nodded and disappeared in a puff. A shadow clone, obviously. She should have noticed, but she'd been too occupied. She looked to her window briefly but it seemed that even with Naruto's clone gone, he'd given up for the night. That was fine, she had important things to do. Like finding her ex-teammate and giving him a piece of her mind.

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Three days later saw Sakura back in her room, foul mood in tow. A waste of a trip! Sasuke had actually been there a couple of _weeks_ ago rather than a couple of days. The trail was cold before they even arrived. To make matters worse, the notice to the Raikage didn't make it apparently and Kumogakure was _not_ pleased to have Leaf shinobi suddenly in their territory.

Considering the damage Pain's assault had done to their village, Kumogakure was the most powerful of the shinobi villages now. It took a lot of political strategy on Tsunade's part to calm down the Raikage and explain the situation. Even then, she had a feeling the hulking man still didn't completely believe or trust their story.

She took off her outer wear and tossed it down hard, grumbling and grabbing an apple from the fridge. She sat on her bed and took a bite into it, glaring at her bedsheets, "I know you're there."

The shadow sounded quiet today, cautious, "Yes, I'm here. You seem pretty angry, though, so I thought it wise to keep my mouth shut."

Sakura couldn't help the slight twitch at the corner of her mouth, almost a smile, "Most guys don't seem to grasp that concept when a woman is angry."

"I guess I'm a bit strange."

She shrugged, not about to deny that he did act a bit strange.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Sakura thought about his question before sitting up, resting her upper body weight on her elbows, "Yeah, you can share something this time." At the silence that followed she groaned, almost whining, "Oh come on. I gave you my life story, I can't even have an anecdote?"

The shadow was still silent, then gave a bit of a sigh, "I suppose you're right."

She blinked. She was right? So was she going to get to hear something, then?

She had to wait a few minutes. She was almost sure he wasn't going to tell. Then his voice broke through the night, "My father wasn't always the most loving type. My mother had more of that role, but young boys always kind of hope it of their father. I'm sure his father was the same way to him, so it was probably hard for him.

It wasn't that he didn't love me, I don't think. It was more like... he treasured me for what I was, not who I was. He had big plans for me from the day I was born, apparently. I was raised as a genius shinobi and he trained me diligently. However, when it came to treating me like a son, he fell short. As a boy, you can imagine how much that wounded me.

There were times he made up for it, though. Little random acts of affection that seemed to come awkwardly from nowhere but warmed me all the same.

Like the candy. After every shinobi mission of his, he'd come back with candy for me from some far-off land. Delicacies from different countries. I wasn't allowed to have sweets very often, so it was something special to me that he'd let me try such a wide array of them from his away trips. He'd give me the candy and ruffle my hair, saying he was home. I'd welcome him home and sit on the steps while I listened to him tell my mother of how his mission went and ate my candy. My mother would go inside after, my father would drink some sake, and we'd just sit on the back porch until it was late and he would shoo me off to bed. Even though he didn't say much, it was my favorite sort of time. It almost felt like he was letting me know I was one of the few people he could just relax and unwind around. It made me feel special."

He was quiet for several moments after and she realized he was done with his story. She let on a soft smile, her thoughts on her own parents, "It sounds nice. Your father had difficulties, but he loved you, in his own way."

"Yes."

She tipped her head a bit, "Do you still see your father?"

His voice was a bit darker now, a bit quieter, "No. He was killed."

She bit her lip, feeling like an ass for asking, "Oh.. I'm sorry."

"Yeah.. me too." His voice was nothing but a whisper now.

She bit her lip, then murmured, "You should go. Genma and the others will be making their rounds near here soon. Come by tomorrow, I'll have something for you."

If the shadow was curious about her statement, he didn't say so. He only gave a small nod then vanished.

She sighed and laid back. She hadn't meant to remind him of something that sad. She supposed, though, that when you think of the good memories, they sometimes lead to the memories of the bad.

She'd kept thinking of her visitor as a criminal. A villain that just happened to have nice moments. It was strange now that, along with this image of a dangerous killer, she could now see that small boy, nibbling happily on a piece of candy while he sat in the peaceful night with his father.

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Sakura paced around her room a bit the next evening. He was late. Or maybe, her mind whispered, he wasn't going to come at all. Perhaps she'd somehow set him off last night. Was she always going to be paranoid about offending him? She reasoned that maybe part of her paranoia stemmed from the possibility of him killing her once he was bored with her.

Why was she even thinking about showing him this, anyway? She looked down at the book in her hands, sighing lightly to herself.

She perked when she heard the almost soundless footfalls as her shadow landed on her windowsill.

"Running a little late, huh?"

The shadow chuckled a bit, "Your guard seems to have tightened their patrol around the village."

She wondered about that idly but shrugged it off, "Well, I said I had something for you."

"Indeed."

She walked closer to the window, stopping when the windowsill creaked, her shadow about to flee, "No, wait! I won't peek, I promise." She closed her eyes, reaching a hand out to hand him the book she was holding. He regarded her a moment before sticking out his hand and taking the book. She turned off the lights and sat in bed, opening her eyes again and letting them adjust to the dark. Luckily it was light out enough for him to see.

"Is this... you?"

Sakura chuckled a bit, "Well, you were curious before about my childhood. There are some pictures from it. Mostly me and Ino, but there are a few others in there."

"Wow... you really _do_ have a big forehead."

She gawked at the window, "H-Hey! That's rude!"

The shadow chuckled a bit, "I'm sorry." He was silent other than the occasional page turn, the shadow soon stopping on a certain page, "That's... Sasuke, yes?"

She frowned a bit suspiciously, "Yes... how do you know that?"

The shadow smiled at her tone, though she wouldn't see it, "The crest on his shirt."

She rolled her eyes. Stupid Sakura, of course. Just about every shirt he owned as a kid had that crest. Even outsiders could identify the famous Uchiha clan.

The book was soon closed and placed just inside her window, on the end of her bed, "Thank you for showing me that. It was nice to see. You were quite a cute little girl."

She grinned a bit, "Wasn't I, though?"

The shadow almost had a bit of a grin in their voice, "I wonder what on earth happened..."

She let out a bit of a shriek of outrage when the insult registered and threw her pillow at the window, her visitor laughing a bit before vanishing into the night.

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Sakura kept reminding herself in her head that she needed to remember the exact borders of their country as she took long strides into the surrounding forests. She needed some training, but tearing up the terrain near the village wasn't something she thought Tsunade would appreciate. So she decided to go deep in the woods where people wouldn't miss a few trees and some lifted ground. She got deep enough and far enough away from the village that she could see little animals watching her curiously. Even a crow sat on a tree branch watching her curiously.

She couldn't find a good clearing for this to start so she simply got down and did a few stretches before putting on her gloves and slamming her fist into a nearby tree. The tree creaked then broke with an ear-splitting crack, flying into another tree that it bent in half as it flew.

"Well," she grinned, "That's one way to clear a forest."

The jounin exams were now two weeks away, she wanted to be in peak condition for it. She spent a good part of the afternoon tearing up the landscape, knocking down trees, and generally causing massive amounts of collateral damage before she was done. Eventually she stopped and sat on a stump, panting softly, "Damn.. I might have gone overboard."

"I'll say."

She tensed at the voice, _her_ voice, coming from behind one of the few trees left standing in the clearing. It had been so long that they'd been talking that she wasn't too scared for her safety, but the thought occurred to her that if she was fast enough, maybe she could get around the tree and...

"Don't think about it, Sakura." His voice sounded amused, knowing what she was planning, "This is just a clone anyway. I can just make it vanish."

She huffed, a bit of disappointment on her face, "Ugh.. one of these days I'll get to see you."

He chuckled a bit, "But the mystery makes this more fun."

She put her hands behind her against the stump and reclined backward a bit, bracing herself with her arms, "So, pretty bold, to come out in broad daylight to see me."

He smiled lightly to himself, "Well, you picked quite a remote spot. I didn't see the harm."

"Other than possible brain damage from getting hit with a tree?"

"Of course, other than that."

The two laughed a little. She eyed him from her spot, noting that she could see a _little_ of him around the sides. The tree was just narrow enough that she could see he was in a black cloak. A black cloak with red clouds-

She narrowed her eyes a bit, feeling a knot in the pit of her stomach. She was almost wishing he hadn't come out in broad daylight. All the nights of talking, all the comfort and companionship, and it felt ruined. She had trusted someone who wasn't just a possible criminal, he _was_ a criminal. With the one organization that had given them the most trouble recently.

"You know... with how poorly your organization has been doing lately, I'm surprised you have the time to see me so much..."

She saw him tip his head just slightly to look down at himself, hearing what sounded like a curse, though his voice was so quiet she couldn't tell. His voice was low and soothing, trying to placate her, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"You didn't mean to get caught?"

Despite her growing anger, the voice stayed patient and soft, "No... Well, I suppose that wouldn't be a total lie.. it's true, I wish I had planned this better and worn something a bit less revealing, but I _am_ sorry I deceived you. I just didn't think you would have talked to me had you known I was a member of Akatsuki."

She stood up, her eyes narrowed, "Well at least you know me well enough to know that."

"But I wanted to talk to you."

"Why?" she demanded, "Why did you need to talk to me so much? Why do we have these late night conversations? What do you _want_ from me?"

He was silent for a short time, figuring that taking too long to respond would end badly, but wanting to say things right, "...at first, it was because I was curious. We have a mutual acquaintance who had words to say about you and it made me curious. Of course, you've given me more than enough information about you and, to be honest, I've given you a bit too much information about myself than I should have. But.. it's just..." His voice was surprisingly hesitant, "I... enjoy our talks.. As you can imagine, Akatsuki is not an organization big on trust, talks, and pleasant conversation. It's rare that we all even meet in person, to be honest. You just sort of... brought a bright part to my otherwise dark days, that's all."

She tensed, not sure how to feel about what was said. On one hand, she was tense and angry about the revelation. She was also intensely curious about his identity, as there weren't really all that many Akatsuki left alive that they knew of. Though he'd hinted in their conversations several times that he seemed to have nine lives, but was down by one. Did that mean that one didn't die that they thought they'd killed?

Despite her anger and curiosity, she felt a strange warmth in her chest at his words. He'd come to talk to her because he enjoyed her company? She found it hard to believe and scolded the part of her that was hopeful that it was the truth.

He felt her hesitation and slowly came out from behind the tree, advancing on her as her eyes widened in recognition and shock. She was rooted to the spot, unable to make herself move or speak out of sheer surprise. Even as he got closer and cradled her face in his hands, it was all she could do to keep from her legs giving out under her. His thumb brushed her cheek as he looked down into her eyes, "I'm sorry, Sakura. I didn't mean to hurt the trust we had been building. And I'm sorry to break that trust again now."

She wanted to ask what he meant, but at that moment his lips descended on hers, soft but with such a deep longing that it took her breath away. He pulled away from her and all she saw was his eyes. She drowned in them, even as their color shifted and the world was seemingly pulled out from under her, turning to black as she lost consciousness.

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Once again, sorry to take so long on this chapter. I know it's a terrible tease and I hope you forgive me. XD


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